Grief is an intense emotional experience caused by loss. Sometimes changes we experience in life, even positive ones may have elements of loss that can surprise us. Often positive changes in life mean that we must make new adjustments and change some of our behaviors. You will notice in the list below there are some events that we normally believe to be positive, yet may carry with them some aspect of loss.

Feelings of grief may accompany any of a number of events:

• The death of a loved one
• The ending of an important relationship
• Children starting school
• Marriage
• Divorce
• Birth of a child
• Infidelity
• Loss of relationship with a parent through divorce
• Feelings of loss for a friend that moved away
• Loss of job due to restructuring, or other issues
• Physical impairment through accident or illness
• Loss of a beloved pet
• Recognizing that life dreams will not be realized
• Retirement

The experience of grief can cause us to feel extremely fatigued, irritable, and can cause difficulty concentrating on our day-to-day concerns. Loss can have many meanings depending on the timing of the loss, the quality and intensity of relationships with others, and our own ability to cope.

Many responses are normal to experience with loss:

• Somatic distress (physical reactions)
• Preoccupation with the loss experienced
• Guilt
• Feelings of anger
• A loss in usual patterns of functioning

When you experience a loss it is important to work through the associated thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we may feel that we can post-pone the experience of our feelings. This is a strategy that may work temporarily but usually catches up with us eventually, and can result in feelings of depression, and anxiety. One myth of dealing with loss is that if we just give it time, it will pass. Although the passing of time can be helpful, it is so only if we can process the experience in a way that helps us believe we can recover and heal. Regrets for things done or not done in the past may trouble us deeply and it is important that we give ourselves the opportunity to understand and bring meaning to our experience.

With the death of a loved one, we often find that our lives must be reorganized. The energy and emotion previously invested in the person we’ve lost must be re-directed. We are required to readjust to surroundings in which the deceased is no longer present. Often this can create distress. We may feel that we are forgetting our loved one, but it is a healthy process when we can learn to turn to others for emotional satisfaction and support.

Grief Counseling can help clients come to terms with the loss they have experienced. It can assist in identifying and expressing feelings related to the loss. Counseling can normalize the experience of loss.  This is often important when there are concerns about the normalcy of the emotions and physical reactions experienced in response to loss. Counseling can also help you understand your coping behaviors and assess their effectiveness.

Counseling for grief and loss can be provided in a private setting, and referral can be made for group settings as appropriate for the client.
If you have questions concerning a recent loss you have experienced or need assistance with coping with your loss, please call 972.824.2121 to discuss your concerns or to schedule an appointment.